Sunday, June 14, 2015

Costumes Are Not My Life - From a Cosplayer

Once upon a time, in the middle of working crazy hard to finish my Captain America cosplay, I had a mental/emotional breakdown.  This was due to some combination of disappointment and stress, ending in the loathing of myself and my work-in-progress Captain America costume. After an encouraging one-on-one sesh with God and a good night's sleep, I was feeling much, much better. But not about my costume. The costume was still, in my eyes, dreadful. "Oh, why can't you just look perfect, already??? I've worked so hard on you... this is not how you're supposed to turn out."

As I was arranging the bodice on Sylvie (my dress form -- hush hush and don't ask questions) and made adjustments to some of the pins still holding the place of seams, it didn't look so bad anymore.  And then, it began to look even better when I reminded myself that I don't have unlimited money, time, or skills, [unlike almost every cosplayer in the media spotlight]. So, unless I get super obsessive about it, my Captain America costume is just not going to imitate the real thing as much as I'd like (plus, I was creating a female version, so it would never look exactly the same as the original -- hah!)

See, I don't even want to get super obsessive over costumes. Cosplay is not my life, and I never want to act like it is. Jesus is my life, cosplay is just a hobby through which I desire to give glory to Him and receive some simple joy in this crazy world we live in. Cosplay will never give me the fullness and satisfaction of spirit that Christ gives me, as I feel every time I start to put costumes before my relationship with Him. That situation is not pleasant, not the way it's supposed to be, and only leaves me feeling insufficient. But not so when God is in the proper place in my life, as "Number 1" -- He is the only one sufficient to fulfill all our needs: spiritual, emotional, physical.

So, cosplay is not my life... and neither are movies.

I had a realization today.  I've been worried lately that I like movies too much -- that they've been becoming an "idol" for me, that I've been replacing God with cinematics. It wasn't a nagging feeling in my spirit, but rather a nagging question in my intellect, which made me question the importance of my own question.  If becoming obsessed with cinematics was such an issue, then I thought I should be feeling insufficient and empty, like what happens when I put my costumes before God.  But I didn't feel that way, so I was left to ponder the question some more.

I imagined the Christian life as something like this: we're each given a picture to color, and we're given the freedom to color in the lines with whatever colors we want, adding designs, etc.  We only run into trouble when we start altering the base of the picture -- like, changing a horse into a giraffe, for a weird example. The colors we choose for our pictures are our personal interests.  Because, we're all created with different personalities, different looks, and different likes and dislikes.  Put simply, different does not equal bad -- sin equals bad, and sin is that which goes against the teachings given to us in the Bible.

My oldest sister is a piano teacher, my second oldest sister is a science nerd, I'm a film geek, and my younger sister is a fitness nut.  It would seem we don't have much in common, right?  But, see, that's a wrong assumption, because we totally do.  All four of us are the bestest of friends, and we can be that because we all love Jesus; we are similar in what really matters. We are all members of the family of God, He is our center, and every other part of our lives falls into place around that.

So, here's the finale, the thought I want you to come away with from all of this: Costumes are great, movies are great, whatever-your-personal-interests-are are great, just always remember to never forget who made you, who made the world you live in, and who gave his son to save your life. God. Jesus died for your life, so live it to the fullest, live it to the best of your ability...

but never, ever forget who gave it to you, and give back to Him by keeping Him at the center of your life.


  1. I needed this so so much. Like....yeah. I had the same exact realization a little while ago. and its still a struggle for me even after identifying it. I put so much stupid crap before God and worshipped so many idols. when I realized was just shock. Because I never wanted anything to mean more to me than my Savior; yet I was constantly putting all this other junk ahead of Him; stuff like bands and popularity and, heck, photography. Im still working on the whole situation, but just know that you're not the only one.

    very inspiring post btw:) love you!

  2. Thank you so much for this post, Beth! I needed that today/this week.

    This post and others like it are why I love following you on your blog and other social media. :)


  3. This is hands down one of your best posts my dear friend! Thank you so much! I really felt like I needed it today! :-) You raised some excellent points chum!
    ~Evie :D

  4. Very wonderful post, dearie!

    Blessings -

    ~ Aspen

  5. Thank you so much posting this!!!! I'm in the process of making a swim dress based on Arwen, and it's been sooo frustrating lately. Plus with a few extra nerves and neeker breekers thrown in there, my day has totally been a disaster. I am SO grateful that I check my blogger status and saw this post that brought me back to what really matters, not to mention the entire reason I have this project in the first place!!
    Thank you again and God bless,

  6. I've just found your blog and this is so good. I struggle with this too but always come back to this: Jesus is my obsession. Nothing and no one else comes close. Thanks for your great words!

    1. Oh, thank *you* so much for visiting my little corner of the internet, and I could encourage you. This is such an important issue, and it really is nice to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with it. :)

  7. You are such an awesome amazing young woman! I know they struggle to when it comes to costumes, (and freaked out because it is not turning out how I wish) but when ever I spend time with God it calms me down and I can pre-order my life. Totally get you! And thanks for being "real".

  8. Thank you for an amazing, insightful post!

  9. Very good reminders! Especially liked the coloring book analogy :)